nostalgia - a yearning for the past, often in idealized form

Since departing from China I’ve often found myself experiencing pangs of nostalgia. While most fresh expats in China are quick to point out the myriad of ways in which life in China is so much harder, inconvenient, or downright dirty compared to back home, so are both the newly and long departed equally apt to make such comparisons - life in developed countries is so expensive, so pretentious, so vehemently sanitized, etc. The reality surely falls somewhere in the middle.

Revisiting Beijing and Shanghai several months ago put my nostalgia, and a lot of my own creeping doubts on its merit, into perspective; perhaps only after one has reduced their time in-country to a mere fraction of a year, or not at all, can they begin to really assess the impact and longevity of their full-time experiences there in a prior life.

The conclusion? Damn, what a fun time; but, not perfect. The place doesn’t seem any less interesting or lively, especially compared with more reactionary international cities like Geneva (Zzz). Undeniably, the pace of life along Chang’An Jie, office days in Beijing’s CBD and nights in Sanlitun (or, preferably, near Gulou) are genuinely exciting compared to nearly anywhere else I’ve been.

But it’s hard to ignore the downsides which were brushed under the rug while in China – the borderline exploitative nature of employment for many eager-just-starting expats (which surely pales in comparison to the conditions for locals), that while face is found in the West it seems far more corrosive in the East*, and without a doubt the horrendous environmental conditions that affect nearly every Chinese city, provincial capital, boardwalk, farm and hovel.

That isn’t to say my nostalgia is broken, or that I’m not interested in returning. It’s rather that the nostalgia is slightly tempered with reality. And I’d still happily return if the right opportunity came up. But when seeing and reading about how bad the pollution can be even these days, I feel slightly more content in the staid pace and blue skies of the West.

* interestingly, Chinese is apparently the origin of the English expression “to lose/save face,” which I’d previously assumed developed independently…

Bloomberg on Mosque Vote

“The government has no right whatsoever to deny that right – and if it were tried, the courts would almost certainly strike it down as a violation of the U.S. Constitution. We may not always agree with every one of our neighbors. That’s life.”

Meanwhile, on the opposite end of the spectrum, China continues to manage the world’s worst public relations campaign for the hearts, minds and souls of its largely Muslim Xinjiang region. No doubt the same hard-core patriots in the US who were aghast at the thought of a mosque on good ol’ Manhattan soil will decry China’s social-cohesion policies as a heinous crime against international religious freedom without quite catching the irony (or, let’s be cynically honest, without publicly acknowledging it). Although they’ll likely save that complaint for the next time a Bible study session is busted up by the friendly neighborhood PSB, which tends to be a less edgy/sexy story for the usual suspects to write about. Notably, even the international Muslim community doesn’t have a coherent stance on China’s Xinjiang policies, as noted by a prominent Turk in Islam.

Politics Intrude in Mosque

The central government’s level of control over imams has increased over the last three decades, from watching over activities from the outside of mosques in the 1980s, to appointing and directing imams and arranging mosque activities in the 1990s. Authorities frequently require religious groups to submit texts for examination before they may be used for worship. Regional regulations forbid mosque attendance for those under 18 years old.

Among the countries curiously silent about China’s policies in Xinjiang is Iran. A real shocker, considering each countries’ respective cliffhanger situation, one regarding energy security, the other regarding international isolation.

China defends business ties with Iran

US officials have noted that Chinese firms have been stepping in to fill the void left by companies leaving Iran because of UN and US sanctions. China has emerged as Iran’s closest trading partner and has major energy interests in the Islamic republic.

Heartwarming how, as different as we are, we all manage to find some common ground.

Anyhow, its a good read.

For those of us that stay on longer the honeymoon must, inevitably, end, and we too begin to crave that China that got our blood racing for the first year. Unfortunately, we continue to live in China and a cognitive dissonance is cultivated whereby we are constantly reminded of how our China experience has changed and evolved – not necessarily for the worse, but for the real (as opposed to the initially surreal). I’ve only recently started to drift down this path, where previously humorous ‘cultural’ differences are increasingly grating and may one day be infuriating, where life in China feels more like the 9-5 (or 9-8) grind – at those early signs my inclination is to flee, either to a newer, again-surreal pastures or to good old America, where I can grind in more humane and dignified* conditions and properly revel in my nostalgia of China without constant reminders of what it isn’t. I say this aware of the ongoing economic crisis in the West, with the belief and understanding that the current situation is already having impacts in China and the fallout in the expat community will be felt deeply, perhaps after a 12 month delay. There’s also something to be said of the inescapable appreciation of the RMB which will continue to erode incentives for expats paid in increasingly less valuable currencies, as our basics like cereal increase with local inflation and international currency fluctuations – all in all the economy is not the one and only reason to choose where to hang one’s hat.

More specifically, my decision to move is based on a push-pull of my individual career aspirations and personal passions. Regarding the career, after a year in the ESL game I decided to jump back into economics, the subject I studied, and have enjoyed the learning experience at my internship and then full position in Beijing at a consultancy. I’ve also come to the conclusion that this is the path for me (economics, not consultancy), and as such I am woefully undereducated for an ‘ideal’ position and should probably get down to business, i.e. a post-graduate degree, as soon as possible. I think this is the motivator for many others fleeing China in their mid-20′s – the recognition that an intermediate grasp of Chinese and some basic understanding how a ring-city is navigated isn’t the golden-plated qualification we once thought it would be, and that there is no easy way to skip the qualifications and certifications of most of the world’s professions that everyone else is already on track to securing.

My long time passion, skateboarding, really sealed my decision on a second year in China. My first carefree year in China was great for my skating, and I think really gilded that year as unforgettable on top of all the other unique experiences. The terrain (cities) in China is unbeatable, as is the easy going attitude of security, while the relatively smaller scene in even China’s biggest cities make it easy to feel significantly more central to the scene than is possible back home, except for the most elite or dedicated. And its a nice feeling – we should all love the chance to live vicariously and enjoy a lifestyle similar to a semi-pro at some point. But, ultimately, its a long vacation that must end, and my year of real work in Beijing has done so. While the terrain is still great, I now skateboard less than I probably would working full time in America, and as such feel less involved in the scene here than I’d like. There’s a lot to be said for cultivating a sense of community with like-minded folks, watching and supporting each other’s progression on a daily basis. While I had that during year one, in year two it more feels like I have one or two good friends (in a similarly overworked situation, with compatible schedules) and am largely detached from the rest of the community – ‘known, gets along well with others, but not frequently around enough (or, available enough when invited) to really count as ‘in”. At some point this body of mine won’t be capable any longer, but it is my sincere hope that when I stop skating indefinitely its because of a re-balancing of interests in line with an aging body rather than because my work schedule won’t allow it in an appreciable scale. In China the latter seems increasingly more likely, especially if I continue to scramble in the workforce between ‘baccalaureate’ and ‘higher than baccalaureate’.

That said, I’m currently scoping my options for further study, back home in America, in the fall of 2009. I’ll be leaving China on December 28 for South America, where I’ll be running rampant for 5 months with two very good old friends from high school, exploring, skateboarding, relearning Spanish, and enjoying life full speed with people I love. Once next spring comes we’ll see if I get into my chosen schools; if not it will be an issue of further preparatory courses and a more coordinated effort in 2010 as opposed to returning to the grind. With that timing I’ll leave China just tired enough to be happy to leave, but not soured enough that I know, within a few months or earlier, I’ll miss it dearly and hope to return in the future with a fresh perspective and zeal. I’d much rather leave in this condition than with the ax to grind so many depart with.

* I refer to life as a foreigner in China as undignified for the reason so many love it here (or abroad in general): we will never belong. As others have pointed out, we will develop many meaningful and lasting friendships, but ultimately the eyes of the society as the whole the expat will be considered an expat. This societal opinion is reinforced by the government’s policy of ‘no new citizens’, save in exceptionally rare cases of PR advantage. Whereas in our home countries we only have to justify our place in society, never our membership in society, in China the expat must do so annually with an employer’s blessing and red chop.

I’m not sure what the situation is like on the ground back home, or in Europe, but my impression from online news and the Daily Show’s regular mockup of mainstream media is that the news on China, and specifically on the Olympics during this month, is too frequently dehumanized. I experienced something similarly when I was back home in Alaska this summer – people I was talking to would ask a few questions about living in China and then the conversation would unexpectedly veer towards a cheapshot on the political situation – generally with a word along the lines of repression thrown in. Sure, there is a lot of good coverage that can be found out there, but it seems like the mainstream, i.e. TV, is following its typical playbook and either latching onto bad news in an oversimplified manner, or altogether ignoring it and doing puff peices. The real China stories of significance seem to get minimal coverage and in it all the viewer is left with not much but crap to ingest and grow their respective China opinion from. And you know the old addage – garbage in, garbage out.

Well, the fact is there is a lot not to like about how thing’s are over here, and there are a lot of journalists doing a bangup job on those topics, but I’ll leave that discussion for many other posts. More importantly, there is a very human side to Beijing that I certainly didn’t feel was well understood by people back home…

The Crude Cabbie

On Saturday I was on my way home from a killer skate session and took a taxi – about a 30 minute ride with traffic. Taking taxis is one of the biggest coin tosses in China – in the sense that half the time you get a complete dud of a cabbie, while the rest of the time you get someone that really perks you up for that ride and provides a unique new prism through which to view China. This time I got lucky, and had a great talk. After a few of the typical questions – Where (are you from), Why (are you in Beijing), How (do you like China), What (is your job), When (did you first get to China), and Who (do you think will win the medal count) – the cabbie, lets call him 师傅 (Shifu – a respectful Chinese term for people work these types of jobs) starting asking me about girls.

Apparently Shifu was a bit of a womanizer. Or a porn fiend, or, likely, both. He asked a few more stock questions for a talkative cabbie – do you think American’s or Chinese are prettier, how many girls have you had, etc. Then he starts expanding on his thoughts on women. “American’s are gorgeous, and have the best tits in the world. Chinese are terrible lovers, except for the few fun girls, but they make up for it by being the tightest – so skill doesn’t matter. And of courage American women are great lovers – they have to be, have you seen how loose they are! …can you please please get me a American girlfriend?” This banter went on for about 25 minutes, and was painfully hilarious the whole time. He was motioning this position, that position, this kind of girl, that kind of girl (hands in front of chest, etc), and on and on. The point of it all isn’t that he’s something incredibly unique or special (although the experience still makes me chuckle), but that the cabbie’s here are like back home – the vary widely and while only half or less provide memorable experiences, they all remind you that they’re just normal people – complaining about a girlfriend or wife, showing off pictures of their new house on their cellphone, asking less typical questions about America, etc.

The Old Photographer

Then, today, we were out skateboarding again on Beijing’s 金融街 (Jinrong Jie – Financial Street, where many banking/insurance headquarter’s are located) when a feeble old Chinese woman approached us and started sputtering through a handful of Chinese/English sentences. Once she got a bit more comfortable her English improved significantly – enough that all of us foreigners were impressed. She was impressed by us skateboarding, commented that it looked pretty dangerous, and asked if she could take pictures for awhile. Apparently she was planning to enter a photo contest where photographers take pictures which highlight how much Beijing has changed in their lifetime. As she must have been older than 60, I’m guessing the change has been immense. She described how she the street we were on, now populated with hotels like the Ritz Carlton and Westin, shops like Louie Vuitton and Gucci, and BMW after Benz after BMW after Bentley rolling up down, had perhaps only a dozen years ago been strict 胡同 (Hutongs – Beijing’s well known, and at times decrepid, back alleyways and open courtyard brick houses with traditional arches that have rapidly dwindled in number). Moreover, she thought the image of 3 foreign skateboarders – from Holland, Switzerland and America, with twice as many Chinese skateboarder’s was especially progressive – something, she said, that would have been unfathomable 10 years prior. She was a sweet old lady and we were kicking ourselves soon after she left for not getting her contact details – hopefully we run into her again (it is her neighborhood, after all) and get a chance to ask how her submission turned out.

A clear day during late 2007

28 July 2008

7 August 2008

8 August 2008

Draconian traffic control measures to reduce air pollution began on 20 July, although on the ground most people have a hard time differentiating this week from any other. Particulate matter ratings remain two to three categories above what are considered safe, normal levels. From the perspective of the media, the smog is still palpable and distinctly not fog (as most Beijinger’s perceive it – not sure if this is what its called in their media). Beijing Air Blog already has a sharp analysis of the issues at hand, and the unlikelihood of things improving significantly save an extremely lucky northern wind, so I’ll leave that to him, but will include a visual comparison from the view at my apartment, facing east from the 23rd floor near the east fourth ring road.

A remarkably clear evening last October.

24 July – 4 full days after the beginning of the new traffic and construction control measures to reduce air pollution.

On top of poor environmental conditions, the security situation continues to cast a murky light on the promises made by Beijing when the IOC awarded these games in 2001 – namely that press restrictions would be lifted such that free reporting to a level comparable to all other Olympics would be possible. At the time (and as late as last year) the expectations continued to be defiantly victorious, however the final stretch towards the games has proven that old habits die hard. Below are links to two videos of the crowd control efforts at a recent round of ticket sales in Beijing, where reportedly 30,000+ waited for multiple days to get the few last remaining seats. As an potential target due to the density of citizens, police presence was high. The videos show a Hong Kong news crew experiencing tough love, Beijing style, from police who have long enjoyed the right to do everything in their power to prevent media reporting on, well, anything. Its good to keep in mind that this paranoia is occurring at a peaceful crowd control effort at a ticket sales event – imagine how the police might handle things if the situation were actually volatile.

Video 1

Video 2

For additional writing on the subject of media controls, broken promises, and a betrayed-feeling International Olympic Committee (IOC), I’d recommend the always enjoyable Absurdity, Allegory, and China – Fiat.

Most Chinese also recognize the growing impact their economy has on others around the world, and they believe it is a positive impact. Only 3% of Chinese think their economy is hurting other countries. This is very different from how Americans currently view the effects of their nation’s economy — 61% say the U.S. is having a negative impact on other countries.

This isn’t surprising whatsoever, but raises an important point that will become pivotal in the coming years. First, the Chinese resoundingly fail to perceive any impact their country may have on the international stage besides a positive one. This likely stems from the overwhelmingly positive feelings they have about their country, especially its economy, being transposed onto their understanding of its international relations and impacts. Welcome to the developed world, guys, where opinions are like assholes and since we all stink who gives a shit! Other issues, such as media opinion and accuracy, play an important hand here as well, but more on that below.

The other important point is that Americans hold a highly negative view of China and its impact in the international arena. Big surprise again. While not surprising, this view deserves special attention, not because of its grains of truth (I do think that China’s international impact is a very mixed bag – as is America’s), but because of its root causes in America. The poll doesn’t provide finer detail here, but if the mainstream media is any indication then many Americans feel this way because of economic reasons, that is, outsourcing. All I have to say is suck it up – to borrow a phrase I’ve heard recently, stop whining and try to develop some of that ‘good old Yankee ingenuity’ that America was built on. While China may be going through intense growing pains, including rampant corruption, a barrage of labor standards violations, product recalls, and a rapid eradication of any semblance of natural resources, most honest assessments would have a very hard time labeling the common Chinese worker as lazy. If my two years have shown me anything, its that the Chinese, all up and down the line from rich to poor, are eager to make the most of their rise. When 1.3 billion are all competing for a piece of that +10% annual growth it creates a labor market that most American’s would pale at – and will continue to pale at as China and the rest of the ‘hungry’ world work double time to afford another step on the ladder. Besides, save for a handful of yuppies’ children sipping foreign harvested coffee in Starbucks writing on their Suzhou produced MacBooks, American’s certainly didn’t lose much sleep for the past several decades as free trade, open markets, and neoliberal economics was decried by the developing world as ‘neocolonialism’ – and China (and later India) won’t either.

Back to the point at hand though. While I see a large degree of fairness (a day’s work, a day’s pay) in China’s economic rise, certain components of its international relations, particularly in Africa, leave room for improvement. I wonder to what extent the common Chinese citizen understands the nuances of Chinese policy there (as opposed to the resounding majority of Westerners – ha!). Nonetheless, at least those elsewhere have a fair chance to learn about such policies at their interest. The extent of media control in China, however, leaves even interested citizens at a disadvantage. Beyond that, it creates a false sense of confidence in policies and the people behind them. For example:

Fully 96% believe China’s hosting of the games will be a success, and 56% say it will be very successful…a remarkably high 93% say the Olympics will help the country’s image around the world.

Given that this poll was conducted during the mass protests throughout Europe (and those circumvented only by parlor tricks in America and elsewhere), something just doesn’t add up. A quick look at common sources of information and media trust, however, reveal everything:

Television continues to be the primary source for national and international news for most Chinese (96% say it is one of their top two sources). Newspapers are a distant second (56%)…

A small but growing number of Chinese are going online for news (13% name it as one of their top two sources)…

Yikes! I wonder what these numbers are like in America or Europe, where media control and sanitization isn’t nearly as prevalent and heavy handed. Furthermore, its not an issue that Chinese trust that the content they’re receiving is unfiltered, unbiased, unedited. A separate study by Pew shows that there is actually a decent understanding of the type of media controls taking place (on Chinese media), although trust of government goodwill in its ‘protection’ is high.

…over 80% of respondents say they think the internet should be managed or controlled, and in 2007, almost 85% say they think the government should be responsible for doing it.

Thus we have a population of highly nationalistic citizens, convinced that botched torch relays, a soiled environment, and increasingly intrusive security and ‘harmonious society’ measures will reflect positively on their country during its three weeks on center stage. I’m not trying to deliberately burst anyone’s bubble – I think there is a lot of goodwill that China can glean from a successful Olympics, and in many ways the situation is improving and does warrant more acknowledgment than your average Westerner is willing to cede. But for 93% of the population to expect a torrent of goodwill with such high certainty… well, that’s just madness and misinformation. Oh, did we mention who footed that $40 billion price tag on the new venues, pollution controls, etc etc etc? Like so many in America and elsewhere have already learned (and more remain!), its important to kick the tires first before signing the check.

Pew Research Center: The Chinese Celebrate Their Roaring Economy As They Struggle With Its Costs

Pew Research Center: Few in China Complain About Internet Controls

Upon entering China I found that the security process at Beijing Capital Airport (Terminal 3) has been clogged by the inclusion of several new pieces of machinery just following the baggage claim. While before suspicious looking characters (read: probably western Chinese) were flagged for a detailed frisking while the rest of us white devils skimmed by without notice, now everyone is subject to a electronic pat down as they walk through a x-ray/bomb detector/doomsday machine the size of a king’s door and slightly reminiscent of the full body X-ray hallway in Total Recall (if the movie sucked instead of kicked ass). Of course with some 15-20 baggage claims funneling into one security point it creates a hell of a bottle neck… and upon exiting the door of doom you’re faced with another terror detection machine, only this one is so irradiating that they dare not let you walk through it (although most Chinese appeared comfortable with reaching their hands in to speed up the process).

In Beijing a lot has changed transportation wise in the few weeks I was gone. On 20 July the government moved to take 50% of the traffic off the road by imposing a restricted driving scheme whereby odd license plate holders can only drive on odd numbered days and the opposite. While I haven’t noticed much change in the quality of road traffic, the metro moved from the 5th to 3rd layer of hell. Taking a million plus cars off the road has a way of screwing up my lovely daily commute, although luckily the numerous bomb scanning, x-ray machines and security attendants with x-ray wands don’t cramp my style much – in over a week home I’ve yet to see anyone being stopped for security reasons, forced to use any of the scanning devices, or even given the stink eye.

Meanwhile, the Internet is experiencing outrages that are even worse than during the unrest this past March, with a majority of websites, including this one, YouTube, Google, common news sites, and niche anything sites experiencing erratic availability. I’ve got a load of nice pictures to share with friends but unfortunately can’t seem to establish a connection long enough to get even the first one up. Apparently even me chatting with friends on MSN is subject to scrutiny as that and Skype are also victims to the outages, a first in my experience. The net is surely closing on… someone.

And indeed, the security situation in other parts of China appear to warrant some degree of caution and preparation. Xinhua has reported that this morning 2 buses exploded in China’s remotest Yunnan province, killing several and injuring over a dozen. Three separatists in China’s northeast were publically executed by firing squad, with a apparently unwilling public, in a show of force by the Central powers that be.

Unfortunately the reports that are streaming in via the Chinese media don’t do much to quell the nagging morbid curiosity that must be creeping into the national id (as it surely is creeping in elsewhere) – at least not from what I’ve seen. This primarily stems from the problem of transparency, or lack thereof. When senior officials in China are willing to write off foreign concerns of transparency by deferring to China’s “government [having] never been transparent for 5,000 years” it starts to raise some eyebrows, and this is after plenty were already peaked. Its not to say the government in China is bad – just more along the lines of par for the course of any soon to be world super power – us American’s have a hard time lecturing others on good governance. Nonetheless, images of this morning’s blast on TV elicited a highly inappropriate chuckle from my living room, as the coverage of several ‘victims’ walking around in a daze was so obviously staged it wasn’t even worth of a B-movie. And this on CCTV-1 – way to get that ‘exclusive’ guys! Imagine if Dana Perino had a billion dollars of fun money to sell great yarns but the stories still came across as fake and condescending – oh wait.

But, despite the hair pulling madness, it feels good to be back home in Beijing. And that says a lot more than Xinhua, Dana Perino, or any other con artist trying to get a rise out of taxpayers ever could. After all, we still have some of the worlds greatest cheapest bars.

Bus explosions leave two dead in Sw China, police say deliberately set_English_Xinhua

Across China, Security Instead Of Celebration – washingtonpost.com

FT.com / World – Chinese fund tries to calm west’s fears

I recently received a link to one that I thought was pretty cool and actually worth the 5 minutes of time you’ll burn on it. I noticed China wasn’t in the list of Matt’s stops, but apparently he went there in 2005(?) and didn’t feel like coming back. Or, more likely, was denied a visa for his 2008 trip.

Where the Hell is Matt?

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008) from Matthew Harding on Vimeo.